My feelings

When I c her
I still can`t communicate properly wiv her
I still got a bit dislike her
Dun knw y...
I guess is her expression that affect... my emotion...
or
she hv hurt me so badly
that the wound in my heart still pain
Haiz...
Whan I c her
I juz 1 2 act as normal as possible
bt
I juz can`t stand the pain my heart
tat says is tat girl who hurt me so bad
Is impossible to act normal infront of her
When I sms her is juz like nothing hv happen
I dun hv the pain in my heart
bt
when face 2 face wiv her
It is really damn hard
to speak wiv her
I really 1 2 heel the wound
but it does nt work
I will tey my best 2 be a responsible senior
bt
If I really can`t do it
I`m so sorry about it
Pls forgive me
Cuz I`m juz an ordinary human being
tat hv feelings, it nid time to recorred
Sorry...
Very sorry about it...

Give up vs. birthday

I have make a decision. The decision is give up. I choose this decision is because I fed up already.... I have apologize a dozen times but she is still haven`t forgive me... She is really small gas... As a senior I juz will inform wat the xx say. I will not feel frustrated or stress anymore... Hah!!! I feel free now... I can smile and laugh stressless... Tats good! Bt another problem have arrive...The another problem is about my grandparents... They really irritating man... They really born with problems... I really is not tat cruel but they are too much! The always wil make troubles and disturd my parents until they go mad! Everyday I will heard something about them tat is very terrible! Is not me tat irrespect them but tis is they`re fault! Haiz... How can I ran away from tis problems!!! They always waste the money and my parents didn`t have enough money to support the financial situation... Haiz... It is very frustrating! I really hate tat!! God how can tis problem be solve?

I celebrate my birthday very simple... Haiz.. Bt gt many friends wish me hapi burfday on tat particular day.. At least I feel a bit hapi about it. I won`t dare to ask a birthday cake or birthday present from my parents... Cuz I scare they can`t effort... so I juz went out to eat KFC only... A simple birthday is ok 2 me cuz I cant tell all my problems to my family cuz they won`t understand... So, wat can I do is juz pretend nothing happen.. And laugh like alwaz to cover my real emotion...During the holidays, I feel very boring man... Damn boring! Nothing to do... Not enough money to go travel jus can stay at home... Boring.... Juz boring...

Should I forgive her?

Should I forgive her? She has hurt me so bad, no one has hurt me so bad before.My friends want me to forgive her but I am still not very sure about it. Haiz....Who can help me? I ask for many people but none of them that helps! Haiz...Why should I forgive her? She didn`t apologise to me, she juz act like nothing had happen. SHould I forgive her? Should I act like nothing happen at all too?I juz can`t ok! I`m a human, a human with feelings not a machine that can delete all informations or memory that u don`t want so easily.Very frustrating a... If I tell my problems to y and w. They will juz say forgive her lah but they don`t know how gurt it was when I go through the letter... If I don`t forgive her they all say me sui what can I do? I really don`t know how to "repair"my feelings, how can I handle this problem. I really want to give up my life but I can`t. Want to know why? It is because I don`t want to leave my delicious dessert! Hahaha... very funny right? Haiz... I will be mad if this continue litat....

I want to forgive but everytime I saw her my heart will be very pain and I will remember the letter which hurt me so bad, When I saw her I also feel like want to hide from her and avoid we met meet each other , Haiz... what can I do to feel better when I see her....who can help me to solve this problem? The others juz can give some advice right? I always tell myself to calm down and ignore she but it really can`t work. Easy to talk but hard to do... How can I solve this problem? I know! resign gg lah! Haiz.... suan lah... this can`t work de lah... Y and W will kill me if I resign. Then I will turn into ghost and come back and revenge wakakaka...( touch wood) Juz kidding! want to be happy like I always does...how? I also don`t know a ! Haiz ... Gambateh to solve this problem lah although is tough! Bu who is tougher of course is me lah! Hahaha ! Self-loving right? Blekk.... Don`t let her influence my life! She is juz a small little problem that I must solve! Gambateh!