My feelings

When I c her
I still can`t communicate properly wiv her
I still got a bit dislike her
Dun knw y...
I guess is her expression that affect... my emotion...
or
she hv hurt me so badly
that the wound in my heart still pain
Haiz...
Whan I c her
I juz 1 2 act as normal as possible
bt
I juz can`t stand the pain my heart
tat says is tat girl who hurt me so bad
Is impossible to act normal infront of her
When I sms her is juz like nothing hv happen
I dun hv the pain in my heart
bt
when face 2 face wiv her
It is really damn hard
to speak wiv her
I really 1 2 heel the wound
but it does nt work
I will tey my best 2 be a responsible senior
bt
If I really can`t do it
I`m so sorry about it
Pls forgive me
Cuz I`m juz an ordinary human being
tat hv feelings, it nid time to recorred
Sorry...
Very sorry about it...

Give up vs. birthday

I have make a decision. The decision is give up. I choose this decision is because I fed up already.... I have apologize a dozen times but she is still haven`t forgive me... She is really small gas... As a senior I juz will inform wat the xx say. I will not feel frustrated or stress anymore... Hah!!! I feel free now... I can smile and laugh stressless... Tats good! Bt another problem have arrive...The another problem is about my grandparents... They really irritating man... They really born with problems... I really is not tat cruel but they are too much! The always wil make troubles and disturd my parents until they go mad! Everyday I will heard something about them tat is very terrible! Is not me tat irrespect them but tis is they`re fault! Haiz... How can I ran away from tis problems!!! They always waste the money and my parents didn`t have enough money to support the financial situation... Haiz... It is very frustrating! I really hate tat!! God how can tis problem be solve?

I celebrate my birthday very simple... Haiz.. Bt gt many friends wish me hapi burfday on tat particular day.. At least I feel a bit hapi about it. I won`t dare to ask a birthday cake or birthday present from my parents... Cuz I scare they can`t effort... so I juz went out to eat KFC only... A simple birthday is ok 2 me cuz I cant tell all my problems to my family cuz they won`t understand... So, wat can I do is juz pretend nothing happen.. And laugh like alwaz to cover my real emotion...During the holidays, I feel very boring man... Damn boring! Nothing to do... Not enough money to go travel jus can stay at home... Boring.... Juz boring...

Should I forgive her?

Should I forgive her? She has hurt me so bad, no one has hurt me so bad before.My friends want me to forgive her but I am still not very sure about it. Haiz....Who can help me? I ask for many people but none of them that helps! Haiz...Why should I forgive her? She didn`t apologise to me, she juz act like nothing had happen. SHould I forgive her? Should I act like nothing happen at all too?I juz can`t ok! I`m a human, a human with feelings not a machine that can delete all informations or memory that u don`t want so easily.Very frustrating a... If I tell my problems to y and w. They will juz say forgive her lah but they don`t know how gurt it was when I go through the letter... If I don`t forgive her they all say me sui what can I do? I really don`t know how to "repair"my feelings, how can I handle this problem. I really want to give up my life but I can`t. Want to know why? It is because I don`t want to leave my delicious dessert! Hahaha... very funny right? Haiz... I will be mad if this continue litat....

I want to forgive but everytime I saw her my heart will be very pain and I will remember the letter which hurt me so bad, When I saw her I also feel like want to hide from her and avoid we met meet each other , Haiz... what can I do to feel better when I see her....who can help me to solve this problem? The others juz can give some advice right? I always tell myself to calm down and ignore she but it really can`t work. Easy to talk but hard to do... How can I solve this problem? I know! resign gg lah! Haiz.... suan lah... this can`t work de lah... Y and W will kill me if I resign. Then I will turn into ghost and come back and revenge wakakaka...( touch wood) Juz kidding! want to be happy like I always does...how? I also don`t know a ! Haiz ... Gambateh to solve this problem lah although is tough! Bu who is tougher of course is me lah! Hahaha ! Self-loving right? Blekk.... Don`t let her influence my life! She is juz a small little problem that I must solve! Gambateh!

no hope

Why is life so annoying...I feel disappointed about my life. Why they are so annoying, I feel very frustrated....They are really an idiot! Beause of them there are other people suffering, because of them there are other people feeling very angry and feeling that there is no hope in their lifes. Please give me some guidence! Help me to continue my life smoothly...I am just a kite that has no direction to go... so pity , so sad......I`m just a kid what can I do to! What I can do is just crying alone......I need to calm down I tel myself concentrate in your studies but I really can`t do it. I force myself to study to forget about everything sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn`t...... what can I do?

A biggggg problem

Ah......very "fan" ah! In my opinion, I think that I have two kai mui I very good one but actually is a very terrible thing!I accept leng lui and cute as my kai mui. After that, I told leng lui that Iaccept cute as kai mui and then she angry already.So, I write a letter to apologize to her but I think she still got a little bit not happy. She want me 2 kick out another kai mui because she does not like her! So, I have been forced to cheat that LD suspect that I`m too friendly with them.I feel very frustrated and guilty!At the next day, DO asked me to go down to gg but I was very "fan" so I shouted at her and say I hate gg a cannot a! I want be a irresponsible person a cannot meh!

Cute is too kind ah! She made me felt more gultier ah! I don`t like to her one!Ah! T.T and at the other side, leng lui and my relationship is cracking ah! I want to hide from her loh, just feel scare ah!frustrating aaa......=(